What was the conversation or moment that sparked the idea for Hello Nancy?
My husband and I were looking at business ideas in healthcare, and a friend said to us completely casually, “guys, sex toys are healthcare. Are you interested?”
We’d never used them. We’d never really explored it. But that one sentence stayed with me for weeks, because it named something I’d been carrying my whole life without a word for it. I had always been curious. I had also always been shy. I’d assumed those two cancelled each other out, when really they just leave you standing still.
That’s when it clicked. I’m not unusual. There must be a huge number of women sitting in exactly my spot, curious and quietly embarrassed about being curious.
So we designed our first product, Uno, from scratch – for the clueless but curious. For the version of me who wanted to know but was never going to walk into that shop. Judging by what we would have wanted as curious but timid first-time buyers, we made sure the products were cute and discreet design, before anything else. From there, it evolved into fruit – lemon, avocado, raspberry – and we kept going in that direction. Now we have over a million customers who might have been like me.
Why do you think we’re still so uncomfortable talking openly about women’s sexuality?
It’s less about the subject than about the room you’re standing in. Put the same conversation in a room where a few people are already open about it and it’s completely easy. People are curious, people laugh, people share things they’d never say elsewhere. So the topic isn’t inherently difficult. Most people have simply never been in a room where it was allowed.
I think of it like being the first person to take your jacket off at a formal dinner. On your own, it feels excruciating, like you’ve broken a rule nobody wrote down. But once two or three others do it, it’s just a warm room, and nobody remembers it was ever awkward. Nothing changed except who went first. Silence works the same way as permission. Both spread.
So our job isn’t to convince anybody. It’s to build the room. Make a space safe and welcoming enough that talking about it stops feeling like a confession.
How has your own upbringing shaped the way you think about female pleasure today?
I was born and raised in Japan, and it’s a strange mix. Very conservative on the surface. People don’t talk about it, it’s not a dinner table subject. But at the same time, sex shops are everywhere. Visible, loud. So it wasn’t absent. It was just presented in a way that made me feel it wasn’t for me.
That’s what shaped me. Because the way it was marketed, my takeaway was that you have to be extremely horny to use one. I remember genuinely telling myself, I’m not horny enough for that. That’s not modesty, that’s just what the environment taught me.
The shift came much later, once we started the company. A toy isn’t a reward for being turned on. It’s a tool for finding out what turns you on. That reframing changed everything for me. Before that I only knew one way, and I’d never actually asked myself what I liked or didn’t like. The toy is what gave me permission to ask the question.
Why do you think pleasure deserves a place in the wider wellness conversation?
I always say there are a few basic human needs. Food. Shelter. Sex. We talk endlessly about the first two. Food is a whole culture, housing is a whole industry. But sex we still treat as something dirty, or something that has to happen a very particular way, or something you simply don’t mention.
And yet it’s one of the most important sources of pleasure a person has. I think everybody knows this instinctively. You feel different when you’ve had that in your life, and you feel different when you haven’t. It changes your mood, your energy, how you move through your week.
So for me it’s simple. Everyone should have the opportunity to explore that for themselves. And the more openly we talk about it, the more people give themselves permission, which wasn’t the case before.
For women who’ve spent years putting everyone else first, how can reconnecting with pleasure become a form of self care?
We’re busy. There’s the housework, the partner, the kids, the parents, the people we’re looking after, the job. Women in particular carry an enormous amount of multitasking, and the mind is always occupied. So the hard part isn’t the act, it’s clearing the space.
It starts with permission. Deciding that pleasing yourself is a form of loving yourself, in exactly the same category as running a bath, doing your skincare, going shopping on your own. Nobody feels guilty booking a massage. This is the same instinct.
And practically, this is where a toy genuinely helps, because you can control it. You decide the time, you decide the length. It doesn’t require anyone else’s schedule or mood. For a woman with very little time, that’s not a small thing. You can sit back, relax, and explore, and it can fit in the window you actually have.
What are the biggest misconceptions women have about self pleasure?
The biggest one is what I used to believe myself – that toys are for people without a partner, or for people who are very sexual, very advanced, very sex positive. Some other category of woman.
Actually a toy is a tool for discovering yourself, and that’s the part everyone forgets. Most of us learn about sex from porn, or from what a partner does, and we assume that’s the correct version. But everybody is different. Every person’s pleasure is different. And almost nobody has been given the time or the permission to find out which version is theirs.
Here’s the part that matters. If you don’t know what you like, it’s impossible to tell anybody else what you like. So this isn’t a substitute for a partner. It’s the step that makes the partner part work.
Was there anything in your research with women that genuinely surprised you?
Honestly, it was something I already knew and had been ignoring, which is that women need much more time. More time to get aroused, more time to get there, more time to explore. The research backs it up: women take on average around 14 minutes to orgasm with a partner, and for men it’s closer to five to seven. Roughly double.
What struck me is how that collides with the pressure to perform. So many women are in the room thinking about how they should look, how long they’re taking, whether their partner is bored. You’re performing instead of receiving. And you can’t do both, the body won’t allow it.
So the useful thing isn’t a technique. It’s giving yourself permission to be slow, and to be greedy about it. Don’t be the performer. Be the one who’s also enjoying it.
Are we entering a new era of female body literacy?
Yes, and I’d say we’re catching up rather than arriving. There’s far more conversation now about our bodies, about tracking them, about understanding how they actually work, and that’s genuinely new. Women turn up to the doctor with vocabulary now.
But we started so far behind that we’re still closing a very old gap. And understanding your own body is what makes pleasure possible, because so much of what gets in the way is comparison. We look sideways, decide we’re different, decide something is wrong with us, and feel ashamed. Almost every message in my inbox is a version of the same question: is it just me? It never is.
So the era we’re entering isn’t really about information. It’s about women knowing their own normal well enough to stop measuring themselves against someone else’s.
How do stress and being constantly connected affect our ability to switch off and experience pleasure?
It’s a huge part of modern life. Always working, always doing something, always reachable. And one of the reasons people don’t explore this is simply that they never reach a state where they could.
What I do is block a random Thursday or Friday. I say no to whatever else is on offer, including to my husband, and I take the evening. No agenda. Maybe I watch a film, maybe I take a bath, maybe I just put music on. And if I end up in the mood, that’s where it goes. If I don’t, that’s fine too. Even two hours where nobody comes into the room is enough.
The point isn’t the activity, it’s the protection. You cannot be interruptible and absorbed at the same time. The body won’t do both.
What does your own wellness routine look like?
My routine changes constantly and I’m not someone with a fixed regime. But the one thing I’ve learned to do properly is schedule this in, the same way I’d schedule anything that matters. It goes in the calendar and it stays there.
That single habit changed things for me, because it’s directly connected to how I feel. I’m noticeably happier and calmer in the weeks where it’s in there. It’s not an indulgence sitting at the bottom of the list, it’s part of what keeps me steady.
I think a lot of women are trained to put themselves last and quietly let their own thing slide. Deciding it’s worth a slot in the week is a small act, but it’s the one that made the difference for me.
What would you love to see change, culturally and within the wellness industry?
Culturally, I want people to give themselves permission and to feel joy about it rather than anxiety. So often I see women approach this with worry attached, and everything gets stuck there. If more people talked about it openly, more people would feel allowed, and that’s how culture actually shifts. Not through a campaign, but through it becoming ordinary.
Within the industry, I’d like this to stop being treated as a hidden category. It belongs with everything else people use to feel good in their own body and mind. Nobody hides a massage, a long bath, a candle, a wind down routine. It’s all the same thing. It’s all about how you love yourself, and there’s no version of that which deserves to be hidden.
One piece of advice about reconnecting with herself, her body and her pleasure?
Just enjoy it. Don’t overthink it, and don’t judge yourself. If nothing happens, nothing happens, and that’s genuinely fine. Go in with an open mind and the intention to have fun.
And don’t be harsh with yourself about not knowing how. If you don’t know how to use something, or you’re not sure what you’re doing, that’s normal. Try it a different way. Go slower. There’s no rule here, or rather, the only rule is yours.
