In 1987, during a Spanish summer course in Santander, I learned a phrase that changed my life: A vivir que son dos días. Translated, it means ‘To live, which is two days’ or ‘To live with no regrets’. These six Spanish words woke me up and reshaped my mental model. My view became wider, there was more depth, and the light and colours were brighter. I wanted to leave my fears behind and experience everything life had to offer. A vivir que son dos días became a guiding principle for my life.

Happiness is not a destination, something we will arrive at once the promotion comes, once the relationship is right, once life settles down. It is a practice, and the first step is letting go.  

The gift of impermanence

The Buddhist concept of impermanence, a deep understanding that nothing lasts, including our suffering, has been the most powerful complement to the Spanish proverb mentioned above. When we truly accept that everything changes, including ourselves, we can stop clinging to rigid expectations and the need for control. Instead of viewing impermanence with anxiety, we can see it as a gift, every moment is a new chance to adapt, learn and grow. Stop fighting life’s natural and often unpredictable shifts and open yourself to the unexpected.

For so many of us, the belief is that we can control our happiness, and our lives, if we just plan carefully enough. Life taught me otherwise. What matters more is how open we are to the unexpected and whether we step through doors when they appear. Letting go of control does not mean giving up; it means opening up to possibilities. To craft a life deeply anchored in joy, we must embrace the art of letting go and lean into the unknown.   

Finding happiness in knowing when to walk away 

If we accept life’s fluidity, we must redefine and reframe our relationship with failure. To become the best version of ourselves, we must learn when to walk away from the things that drain us. At 17, after securing a transfer to a top-tier football academy, I found myself outpaced and physically and mentally outmatched, my love for the game suddenly ripped away. 

I made the incredibly difficult decision to quit. Leaving behind my biggest childhood passion felt like a raw and bitter failure. Yet, the lesson I learned was liberating: knowing when to walk away is just as critical as choosing a new path. I had to learn to step onto the balcony of my life and observe my struggles on the dance floor below, rather than be consumed by them. This created a space for reflection and healing, allowing me to witness the painful, often irrational emotions that emerged from the experience. Quitting allowed me to reclaim my agency, and to process setbacks without losing my joy and appetite for life. 

Joy lives in the present

Building a joyful life doesn’t always require dramatic reinvention or massive career leaps; often, it means making space to experiment – to be surprised by yourself. In my mid-forties, I discovered a passion for road cycling by accident. I hadn’t been looking for it, but it found me.  I discovered that it functions as a powerful release for stress and tension, effectively a moving meditation that cleanses both my mind and body. I cannot imagine my life without my four bicycles. 

Later, at age fifty-two, I took my first pottery class. I found that the simple act of throwing clay drew me completely out of my head and into the present moment. Creating something from nothing – something tangible, useful, personal – has been a powerful way to discover and nurture my inner creativity. It also reminded me of something essential: that we are made of earth, water, air and fire, and we flourish when we remember that.

Compete to grow, not to win

True joy will never come from comparing yourself to others or competing to win at all costs. They are both reliable recipes for misery. Instead, consider the Latin root of the word compete – competere – meaning to strive together. A competitor is not an enemy to defeat, but an ally pushing you to give your all and reach your own unique potential. This mindset unlocks something remarkable: those flow states where time dissolves, deep satisfaction takes over, and joy no longer feels like something to chase. 

Happiness is not a reward for getting things right or perfect. It is built, quietly and daily, from the choices we make when we stand at crossroads. Remember that every day brings a new chance to choose differently. Maybe today, you choose courage over comfort, trust over doubt and openness over control. 

The question I come back to, again and again – the one that has guided me more than anything else is simply this: Why not?

Johan Depraetere is the author of Pick Your Gummy Bear (publishing on March 19th, Whitefox Publishing), a leadership expert and business advisor who has held senior roles at McKinsey, Samsung, Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs and Procter & Gamble, as well as degrees from both Harvard Business School and INSEAD.