It’s safe to say we’d all like to feel 100% body confident all the time… there’s no greater feeling than really being at one with your body and appreciating (and loving) it for all its amazing talents. But unfortunately, feeling that way all the time isn’t real life. We all have days when we’d prefer to hide behind an oversized jumper or feel frustrated by the fact that we can’t find anything in our wardrobe that doesn’t make us feel like a whale. It happens! So if you’re having one of those days, one of those weeks or even one of those months, here are 7 tips from Mel Wells, author and health psychology coach, for feeling more body confident!


Wear clothes that actually fit you. Throw out all the items you have held onto that are smaller sizes for ‘one day’. When you hold onto these items in your wardrobe or try to squeeze your body into them, you will always feel uncomfortable. Change the dress to fit your body – don’t change your body to fit the dress. When you are comfortable in what you’re wearing and can breathe, you will feel more relaxed and naturally feel more confident.

Forgive yourself. You are not a problem, you are not broken, you do not need fixing. If you do desire to change your body, you must love and accept your body as it is right now first. “To get a body I love, I must start by loving the body I have.” You cannot drive a car without getting into the car first. Do not try to change your body from a place of hate and punishment, but instead, speak to it lovingly and make loving choices for your body. Instead of hating yourself thin, choose to love yourself healthy. When you are empowered by the choices you are making for your body, confidence will ooze out of you.

Be naked by yourself more often. Spend time naked by yourself, walking round the house naked, cooking naked, doing the dishes naked, ironing naked, watching TV naked. The more time you spend naked and intimate with yourself, the more your confidence will grow.

Realise that you are not your body, you are your soul. True body confidence comes from inner confidence in oneself. Instead of focusing all your attention on the mirror, realise all your qualities as a human being. Celebrate who you are as a person, rather than putting all the emphasis on your reflection in the mirror or a dress size.

Unfollow accounts on social media that make you feel like you’re not enough. Treat your newsfeed like your friends’ circle – only invite people in that lift you up and bring positivity, joy and empowerment to your life. Instead of shaming yourself by following extreme fitness models, follow people who are body positive and practice self-love.

Throw out your scale. This is absolutely key if you want to be confident in your body. For every time you use the scale to judge yourself, you are validating yourself with a piece of metal on the floor. You are so much more than a number. Celebrate your accomplishments, your big heart, what a kind soul you are. A number does not define you so don’t let it dictate your happiness.

Fundamentally – realise for yourself that happiness does not come with a number or a dress size. Losing two stone may make you more ‘socially acceptable’ on the surface level for a short while, but on a deeper level, it will not make you love yourself any more. Happiness is an inside job. When you stop chasing numbers and start practicing self-love at any size, you will find true happiness and fulfillment for life. Self-love is not a destination, but a journey and a practice. Commit to being kinder to your body. Ask yourself with every decision: “What would someone who loves themselves do?”

body confident

words by Mel Wells
Bestselling Author & Speaker
Author, The Goddess Revolution
Healthy & Eating Psychology Coach

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