Do you really know what makes you happy? It’s a question I asked myself when I was in the depths of burnout. On paper, everything should have been fine: I was working in a job I was well qualified for, living in a city, Copenhagen, considered one of the happiest in the world, and everything should have been functioning well. But in reality, I was so stressed I couldn’t sleep. I was snappy, brainfogged and burning out faster than you can say work-life balance.
My gut feeling was that I needed to leave my job to find my spark again. So, rather riskily, I quit and threw my everything into figuring out how to do that. The first thing I did was ask myself what really made me happy. It was a surprisingly hard question to answer: I had spent so many years making sure my family was functioning well, making sure logistics worked and doing what I was required to do at work, that I had forgotten to factor in my own enjoyment. I’m sure I’m not the only one to put themselves at the bottom of the list. Perhaps in part my burnout was connected to putting myself so far down the list that I had fallen right off it.
What I landed on felt completely right to me: I loved meeting new people. I also love doing creative things, anything I can make with my hands would work, from knitting to pottery and writing. And then there was swimming. Nothing gives me as much joy as swimming in the sea.
The second thing I did was promise to myself that I would make sure that every week throughout an entire year, I would do these things. I committed to swimming in the sea once a week for a full year – and then writing about it. Through swimming I met new people, so the whole situation worked together. I felt sure that following these ideas like a compass would lead me out of the burnout cul-de-sac I was stuck in, and even if they didn’t, they would lead me somewhere better.
Turns out I was right.
Through the course of a year, the most dramatically wonderful things happened to me as I followed this compass, swimming in the sea once a week somewhere in Scandinavia, meeting new people, and writing about it.
I documented my year of experimenting with following my happiness triggers in my book, The Year I Lay My Head In Water, where I met the most inspiring people, from a woman who cosplays as a mermaid to impart the importance of sea life to children, to a woman who has swum around the coast of Iceland and a freediver who has gone eye-to-eye with an orca. I started swimming in really cold water, under ten degrees, and I started loving it. I swam in the hot springs of Iceland and the cold seas of Greenland. I sauna-ed in Finland and I swam naked in Sweden. I started to use the idea of swimming in the sea once a week as more than a bullet point on my list of things to do each week and more like a guiding star. Instead of putting my happiness at the bottom of my list, it came first every time.
Before you think that this sounds like a selfish thing to do, I don’t think it is. The ‘me’ during burnout would not recognise me now. I’m full of energy, I’m supportive of other ideas, I’m decisive, I’m courageous and I’m unafraid to be myself. I don’t snip or snap at people and I’m collaborative, not competitive. The experience of doing things that make me happy has made me a better person to be with on so many levels, and I consider that a win for everyone.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t like swimming: this is a theory for all. If what brings you happiness is tap dancing, or speaking French, or baking pies, why not try this theory out? It doesn’t have to be a year and you don’t have to leave your job for it: what if you practised the idea of putting yourself and your happiness at the top of your to-do list, and made a pact with yourself to do the thing that makes you happy once a week? I have a hunch you will thank yourself for it.
Laura Hall (@laura_hall_copenhagen) is the author of The Year I Lay My Head In Water, and is an award-winning writer and travel journalist writing about Scandinavia.
