The number one way to allow and empower your child to live their authentic truth is for you to live yours. Tend to your inner child, empower it so you can teach your child how to empower themselves. 

In a world of likes, follows and reshares, our children are growing up in a very different environment to us in which their authentic selves can easily be pushed to the shadows. More than ever, it is time for us to support, nurture and empower our children to share their authenticity because their truth (like yours), is their gift to the world. The way they do, say, share, create is their unique blueprint that is needed for the planet. If we empower them from now to always remain true to themselves, the likes and follows will merely have no significance to their creations and sense of worth. 

The Oxford dictionary defines ‘authentic’ as “of undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine.” So let’s not interrupt that greatness nor unconsciously encourage our children to conform to the status quo. Let’s empower them and remind them that the amount of events, choices, that had to occur since the birth of the Universe leading up to the making of your child, exactly the way they are – is a miracle. 

Your child is already authentic. To empower your child to be their authentic true self is to provide space to allow them to continue loving themselves so they can develop and expand it. Children, like you are powerful creators, they are souls that have incarnated here for a particular mission, so allow them to follow that path with gentle guidance along the way. 

Drop perfection, embrace learning – Have you ever noticed how a toddler has no fear? As adults, after years of conditioning, we tend to lose that ability to take that leap of faith, that direct whisper from our soul and it gets clouded by the limiting beliefs and fear of failure. 

Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect, they don’t need you to always be achieving your goals, getting things done or completing tasks. Whilst this is great for them to see, it is ok for them to see the other side too. 

When we embrace making mistakes, we soon realize that there are none, only lessons. Everything is unfolding as it is meant to be. So let your child see you, not always getting it right, and say to them that you are learning just like they are and you don’t have all the answers. Learn alongside them. This allows them to try new things, take risks because they aren’t afraid of getting it wrong. The invisible high expectation of the ‘hustle’ is then softened and allows exploration rather than perfectionism. 

Provide times to have an open discussion  – We live in a world that feeds on “us” and “them” which is just an illusion because we are all one. However, the constant comparison of “anti” this and “pro” that, “the celebrity” or even now “the influencer ” creates this separation. Even to the physical barriers (fences), we have with our families and our neighbours. We no longer gather or live in a community like we used to. So in order to wipe away inferiority and superiority, suppression and oppression is to allow for open respectful discussion. This can start with you modelling this to your child, being mindful of how you speak about, to others, or about topics. Little ears are always listening and following your lead. Being mindful to not judge each other for our beliefs, thoughts, or how we choose to do things. 

This doesn’t mean to censor yourself, far from it. Self-censorship is one of the main problems we are dealing with at the moment because people are too scared to speak their truth or even just be curious about different ideologies. But if we open up discussion and be respectful of each other’s points of view, decisions, and ways of doing things, we are allowing others to be themselves. We do not have to agree but we can be kind. 

You can start these open discussions at the dinner table in which everyone gets a chance to speak about a topic they are interested in. Or during your everyday dealings with your child, rather than saying ‘no that is wrong’ ask them why they feel this way or why they want to do this. 

Moonshot thinking – Google provides their employees during their workday to ‘Moonshot’. Moonshot thinking is a type of thinking that aims to achieve something that is generally believed to be impossible. 

Children’s veil to the spiritual world, their true essence and expansion are a lot thinner than adults. This is why children can act instantly as a superhero and five hours later still be in character. Their imagination is heightened which a lot of adults try to achieve with daily meditation. Tap into this superpower of your child and give them many opportunities to moonshot so they can create and solve problems. You will start to discover their strengths and their passions. 

Try doing this from 2 pm-5 pm as according to Ayurveda (world’s oldest holistic healing system) this is when our Vata (creative & imaginative) energy is the highest which supports creativity, expansion, and flexibility. You can learn more about how to encourage and identify gifts and passions in My Happy Book. 

Be mindful of your language  – Dr. Masaru Emoto, the Japanese scientist who revolutionized the idea that our thoughts and intentions impact the physical realm, is one of the most important water researchers the world has known. In his experiments (which was recreated by my 4year old and worked!), Dr. Emoto demonstrated how water exposed to loving and compassionate human intentions (like ‘thank you’) results in aesthetically pleasing physical molecular formations in the water while water exposed to fearful and cruel (like ‘you are stupid’ or ignoring) human intentions results in disconnected, disfigured, and “unpleasant” physical molecular formations. As parents, we can learn a lot about how we can encourage and empower our children with our words. 

Being mindful of our speech is crucial to empowering our children. A sensitive and compassionate child that cries often but is told to ‘grow up or stop being a baby’ is teaching them to not be in touch with their emotions which they could suppress as an adult because they just want to please their parents. Alternatively, a child who is adventurous or loud who is always told to lower their voice could grow up not knowing how to speak up for themselves or be fearful of sharing their talents with others. 

You can simply start doing this by being mindful of your speech and noticing how often you thank your child or fill up their cup. This can include putting down your phone, engaging in eye contact, and being present when they are speaking with you.

Listen and emphasize  – Practising listening to your child rather than ‘fixing’ their problems is a great way to empower them. As parents, we want to avoid them experiencing pain but this is disempowering because we can’t ever escape the pain that is a part of life. But we can encourage them and empower them with tools to overcome any setback. 

Ways to practice this is by validating their feelings rather than fixing them or distracting them to more ‘positive’ or ‘happier’ emotions. Sit with them in their sadness or anger and allow them to fully express it so it moves through their body and isn’t suppressed. Validating by saying things like ‘it is ok if you feel sad or angry right now’ here are some ways to get the anger moving through your body. Provide them with choices and options like; you can dance, chant, punch a pillow, or cry. Allow your child to see you process your emotions which will teach them how to accept all of themselves. 

Make time for excitement, joy, play  – You deserve to have fun! And your child deserves to see you at peace and full of joy. Seeing you do things that make you excited will encourage them to do it too, not just when they are little. Life isn’t always about doing, blooming, or pressing on. It is about becoming and flowing. 

So cultivate time in your day to laugh and do things that bring you joy. What would your inner child like to do? Before you cook dinner make time to make a fort in the lounge room with your kids or jump on the trampoline. Or allow your child to see you enjoying swimming in the ocean or booty shaking to your favourite song. 

Rest  – Like your child deserves to see you having fun and playing, they also deserve to see you resting. When they see you rest they learn that their body is sacred and in order for them to bloom they need to have time where they ground themselves. This allows them to soften and not always be ‘on’. Like flowers in a garden, there are times when they bloom, when they need pruning and times when they need to shed. Not all the flowers are blooming at once and that is the beauty of the garden. When you rest, you allow others to bloom which teaches your child to not compare to others, just because someone on social media or at school is doing something, doesn’t mean you need to do it too. Sometimes when we try to do it all, in fear of missing out, we walk directly away from our true selves. So physically making time to rest, allows everyone to bloom when they need to once they are grounded. 

Passion project  – Your child has the potential to change this world. The children of today are the heroes of the future. In some cases, your child’s occupation hasn’t even been created yet, who even knew what an influencer was 10 years ago or a drone operator? 

A passion project allows your child to create, change, impact and develop which is essentially empowering them to be their authentic selves. Have time throughout the day or week that they can do their passion projects and make time for them to share their project with others. Passion projects can start as young as 3 years old with guidance from parents. 

The key is to create. This is a great way to put into concrete their moon shooting ideas. Check out my 9 step guided inquiry process in My Happy Book which takes you and your child through the process of creating a passion project which is based on their true essence and encourages them to remember their soul’s mission. 

Allow them to choose their outfits – Allow your child many opportunities to create and express themselves. Letting them choose their own outfits is a great way to encourage their individuality and you accept them for who they are; you celebrate their creativity; you value their opinion, and show them that they don’t need to be ‘perfect’. Experimenting means being OK to take risks and make mistakes, and solving problems along the way.

Meditation  – Allow time for your child to listen to their inner voice and guidance. The best way to teach meditation to your child is to allow them to see you doing it for yourself and then give them the choice to do it. Provide times for them to join you so they can have this in their toolkit as they grow. For a short time, with every purchase of My Happy Book you can receive 3 meditations to do with your child, to find out more check out: www.storyandco.com.au 

Find what feels good for you both and remember to follow your inner guidance system. I want you to know that all the answers already inside of you, and how you do things are a gift to the world and your child so please find comfort in this.

words by Jo Zammit, certified spiritual life coach, author of My Happy Book, founder of Story & Co