Energy Psychologist, Alexia Claire Traverse Healy, explains the importance of “epic self care” and how you can tune into your SHEness for a deeper connection with yourself.

SHEness. SHE + Wellness. It’s a new word. It’s not mine, but I use it quite regularly at the moment. As an alternative word for the feminine it feels full of all the power and potential of this time; it feels fresh and sexy and healthy as all hell; it gathers women together under a simple, united umbrella: Your SHEness, my SHEness, her SHEness.

This is the age of understanding self-care. I like to call it epic self-care and I advocate lashings of it to all my clients.

So today, in starting the conversation with SHEness, I’m going to jump straight into the deep end of the work I do, with some tips about connecting to the almighty divine power that is you. Saddle up sister.

Heart Math
Heart Math is a technique for getting out of your head and into your heart. It can be used when you are stressed or having an anxiety attack, just as when you are looking for some time away from your thoughts. Learning and practising breathing through your heart allows you to connect and use your heart as a receiver and transmitter of energy. It also helps you escape your mind chatter and connect with heart wisdom. It allows you space from your own brain, and this is incredibly restful and settling. I recommend practicing Heart Math Daily, even for 5 minutes. You will very quickly see and feel the benefits (You can try it at the end of the article by clicking on the link and listening to my SHEness Audio Visualisation. It’s a game changer).

What the HEARTMATH Institute research says:
“New research shows the human heart is much more than an efficient pump that sustains life. Our research suggests the heart also is an access point to a source of wisdom and intelligence that we can call upon to live our lives with more balance, greater creativity and enhanced intuitive capacities. All of these are important for increasing personal effectiveness, improving health and relationships and achieving greater fulfillment.

The heart is, in fact, a highly complex information-processing centre with its own functional brain, commonly called the heart brain, that communicates with and influences the cranial brain via the nervous system, hormonal system and other pathways. These influences affect brain function and most of the body’s major organs and play an important role in mental and emotional experience and the quality of our lives…Practicing the techniques increases heart coherence and one’s ability to self-regulate emotions from a more intuitive, intelligent and balanced inner reference.”

Visit www.heartmath.org to learn more about HeartMath and download their free e-book “Science of the Heart.”

Womb wisdom
Modern life often speaks to us of ‘man-ing up’ to get things done (a phrase most of us will agree is helpful to no gender). The pressure to do things at high speed and to decide and sprint and push is a huge part of our society and had become the norm, certainly in business. But this is changing, has changed already – and we are starting to appreciate the power of the feminine approach and wisdom, regardless of our gender. In talking about womb wisdom we open the door to conversations about finding a power within which is feminine and strong. Feminine, not female. All gender has the elements of masculine and feminine – and both of these energies can serve us. What tapping into womb wisdom and the power of the feminine gives us is a chance to feel what feminine power feels like. It is not as fast, it has a slower, deeper quality to it. The art of learning to receive is deeply powerful and the power of the feminine in full connection is a force to behold. So although when I talk of and work with womb wisdom it is primarily for women, you could easily replace the word womb with gut if you aren’t female. Don’t get me wrong, there are beautiful benefits to tapping into our masculine and they should not be cast aside – but balance is the key, and many women come to me having lost touch with the incredible intuitive essence and power of the feminine. Listening to the Audio Visualisation will give you a taste of what it is like to connect into the goddess power all women have at their core. Try it, you’ll like it. This is a great book if you are interested in getting deeper into your cycles and womb wisdom: “Code Red” by Lisa Lister.

Existential Crisis
Over the last four years, more and more of my clients have arrived with what is sometimes termed an ‘existential crisis’.

I have welcomed dozens and dozens of clients wanting to explore the bigger questions:

Why am I here? What is my life purpose? Why does being human feel so hard? Why do I relate so much to Game of Thrones; could it be a past life memory? I’m pretty sure my dream last night (wherein I became a mermaid) was actually a reality, am I losing it?

As someone who has journeyed with Shamans, channelled messages from beings in other dimensions (yep, I didn’t think that would ever happen either), experienced and facilitated many past life regressions, have spoken to my own guardian angel and furthermore have bared witness to many many clients similar experiences, I can honestly say to any who ask: I believe anything is possible.

So if you feel called to ask the deep questions, and you feel there is more to life than this earth or this lifetime, you are not alone. The universe is in a moment of great shift and progression. You can work with me, or any of my colleagues, to understand more about this; similarly this book is a great place to start: Material Girl, Mystical World: The Now-Age Guide for Chic Seekers and Modern Mystics by Ruby Warrington

Epic self-care
I used to think that me-time was a luxury. I used to lie about how much I lie down during a normal day. I used to feel guilty when I said no to invitations and yes to my bed and a book. No more! Oh no no more.

Epic self-care looks different to everyone. For me it is about long baths (in Colour Mirrors bottles usually. Go to my website for for info on those beauties), dancing 5 Rhythms, naps in my very comfortable bed, reading books and being in my garden, alone. Yes sometimes that is a challenge to a mother with three jobs and a five year old girl, two cats, a hamster and a very handsome partner, but I put it first. Why? Because I am simply a better person, for all who need me, when I do.

So what does epic self-care look like to you? I invite you to take a pen of your favourite colour and a paper of a similarly lovely hue, write EPIC SELF-CARE in the middle of it and spider chart all that comes to you. Write down not only what self care would look like to you, but also the benefits. Write down the flip side, what it looks like when you don’t care for yourself. Put pen to paper and don’t stop writing for at least three minutes. Go as long as you like after that. Don’t overthink it. It is a great exercise to do after the Audio Visualisation, when you are connected and grounded. Now you have a map and a plan. Stick the spider chart up somewhere you pass often and try to do one thing a day at least which falls under the heading: Epic Self-Care. You will thank me. As will your loved ones. It is not selfish, it is imperative for good living and good loving.

Tapping (E.F.T)

” EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques (sometimes called Tapping) and, in essence, it is an emotional version of acupuncture, except we don’t use needles. Instead, we stimulate certain meridian points on the body by tapping on them with our fingertips.”  Gary Craig, founder of EFT.

EFT can be used for so many reasons, from physical pain to a phobia of flying. It is a magically effective, fast, and incredibly gentle therapy that really can be applied to anything. It is so gentle that it can be used on new born babies. As a tool for managing anxiety and stress it is quite remarkable. EFT can be absolutely instant, changing your mood in minutes, and these changes bit by bit, can add up to your whole life changing. I use EFT with all my clients and on myself, almost every day. It has got to a point where I couldn’t imagine life without it. It gives me the power and the possibility to manage anything that comes my way.

EFT is not the only energy psychology tool I use but it is the foundation, and using it can clear away any and all of the blocks standing between you and your creativity, positivity, joy, power and purpose. Big talk I know, but you will see. EFT can be practiced with a therapist or by yourself. A good place to start is this video by founder Gary Craig

Alexia is an energy psychologist based in London and her clients find her to work through anxiety, stress, phobias, sexual issues, relationship crisis, family, fertility, finances, patterns of stuck behaviour and more and more, questions of an existential nature. To book a free 20 minute phone consultation go to www.sheworkswellness.com – where you can also find her SHEness Audio visualisation.